Guest Post - MS From the Outside

This is the second 'outsider's view' guest post, from one of my best friends (who has already featured in some of my posts). I've gotta admit, when I read through her draft, I did get a little teary... Thanks hun, it's really lovely to hear your point of view on things, and how it's not just me that has worries or concerns about my future and long term health. :3 xx

I’ve been asked to write an outsider’s view of MS. I’ve started it about 6 times now! And not been happy with one of them.

So, I’m just going to write it how I saw it, and hope for the best.

Then I shall hide behind my sofa for a week in case I’ve said something that warrants getting slapped!!

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I’ll never forget sitting on that step next to the garden pond when my best friend told me she definitely had MS. It was a fairly nice day. Sun shining, at least a little bit. I don’t remember it being cold.

I do remember the ice cream, it was Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food. I think I’d bought it because Ben and Jerry’s can fix everything. We sat there and polished most of it off whilst she tried to explain to me everything about what the diagnosis meant. Taking it all in was a little difficult. It didn’t seem real, but then when it started seeming real, it started feeling terrifying.

I remember chain smoking cigarettes and hoping she wasn’t noticing that I was chain smoking cigarettes. I also remember being terrified at the prospect of the needles, and trying desperately not to come across as terrified at the prospect of the needles. And failing miserably. I really am terrified of needles.

I also remember thinking, “she’ll cope with this, if anyone can cope with this, she can”. I did try to explain that, but how well it came across, I don’t know. She doesn’t think she’s a strong person.

Maybe that’s what makes a strong person, not realising you are one. She is one. Tits to what she thinks. I can see it. She’s definitely a strong person.

At first, she really did seem to cope well. Whether she was really coping or not, I don’t know. I think in a way, she was and she wasn’t.

I do know that I probably didn’t help all that much.

Not all that long after the diagnosis, I quite clearly remember watching that rotten programme by Terry Pratchet about the clinic in Switzerland. Yes, That Clinic. There was a lad on the programme with MS.

I rang her up in tears to demand a promise that she’d never, ever go to Switzerland. The thought of losing my best friend is just horrendous, especially to something like that. Horrendous doesn’t even cover it. I just don’t have the words. That sodding programme really got to me.

My best friend, however, laughed at me and told me not to be so bloody ridiculous.

Well, so she should. I was being bloody ridiculous!

But I was just plain worried. Albeit over nothing. I think more than anything, it was just the idea that had worried me, the concept. And the fact that it was so irrelevant hadn’t really crossed my mind.

Do you know though, I think that’s when it finally sunk in that although it’s a big deal, it’s not all that much of a big deal. She’s not going anywhere any time soon. There’s that whole thing called life to get on with first. My best friend is really good at life.

As time went on, there were ups and downs. There was a point when she didn’t look so great (sorry mate!) or so happy. And knowing that there’s naff all you can do to help is so frustrating. I mean, really frustrating. A whole new level of frustrating. I wished there was more I could do, but at the time I just didn’t know what.

But she knows how to help herself. And that’s just amazing. I’m not so certain most people do. In fact, I’m pretty certain I cock it up myself on a regular basis.

That point didn’t really seem to last too long at all, and every time I’ve seen her recently she looks fabulous, so much happier. If a little stressed out at times with uni or dishwasher/dishcloth related problems!! But still, fabulous. Not drawn or tired, just well, you know, really well.

(This last time, I could swear she’s grown too. Maybe it’s the steroids. That or I’ve shrunk…)

I might get strangled for saying this, but it’s the eyes. You can always see that determination in her eyes. Cheesy though it sounds, it’s bloody well true! And that’s that. I shall take no arguments. Even when she was going through a rough patch it was still there, not as much, but definitely there nonetheless. Now days, it’s as bright as anything.

I reckon my best friend can beat MS. If you take beating MS to mean coping with MS and getting on with life, well, she’s already done it really. And I’m sure she’ll continue to do so.

MS aside, this is the girl that quit a “perfectly good job” to go and follow her dream, and she’s certainly done that.

She’s a bloody inspiration, that much is for sure.