Something a little off-topic

According to various public figures – politicians, celebrities, TV stars, and many others – what women wear, and how they conduct themselves, contributes to whether or not they are likely to be raped or sexually assaulted. Don’t wear short skirts, because they’re too sexy; don’t wear high heels because you can’t run in them; don’t show more flesh than necessary, because you’re inviting unwanted attention. Don’t go out after dark, don’t park too far away from your destination, don’t walk unaccompanied in certain areas, don’t do this, don’t do that, don’t do the other. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.

But then, we’re also told that we should prettify ourselves. Wax our legs/underarms/bikini lines, so that we are more attractive to men; wear makeup so that we are more attractive to men; wear the latest fashions so that we are more attractive to men; emulate the style of the stars, so that we are more attractive to men; wear high heels, because they make our legs look good; have the perfect body so that we are more desirable; wear figure hugging clothes so that men can see our curves, and how attractive we are. We are taught that our sole worth is based on how pleasing we are to the heterosexual male gaze.

Is it just me that can see the horrible, cruel irony of what these people are saying? For a lot of women, we wear the clothes we wear, because we are told that we should desire them, because they are fashionable, because the current favourite starlet is wearing them. We also wear what we feel comfortable in, what we feel ‘sexy’ in, what makes us feel good about ourselves. The reason that a lot of these clothes make us feel good, is because we feel desirable. What makes us feel desirable is largely dictated by what our culture tells us should make us feel desirable.

There are oh so many problems with this restrictive view of what women should be, and should do. Why, on a night out, should we dress as if we are expecting to be raped, and not dress as if we are going out to enjoy ourselves? Maybe I’m not the best person to talk about this; I don’t wear heels (I fall over) and I don’t wear short skirts (I don’t like them). But I recognise that it is each man or woman’s prerogative to wear whatever they want to, whenever they want to.

Of course there are exceptions to this rule: sometimes uniformity requires, or practicality dictates, that we should wear something specific. I would, for instance, laugh at anyone attempting to use a treadmill wearing a stacked heel; riding a motorcycle wearing the shortest of short skirts would be not only impractical, but dangerous. However, there are occasions – and going out is one of those occasions – where we should be able to wear what we like, what we feel comfortable in, what makes us feel good.

All of this dictation over women’s (and increasingly, men’s) bodies, and what should be done with them, completely forgets the facts. The majority of rapes have nothing to do with sexiness or practicality of clothing, and everything to do with a display of power from a sick-minded individual. A study from 2005 noted that the majority of perpetrators are known to the victim. The majority of rapes are perpetrated by someone known to the victim. More often than not, they happen in what should have been a safe place. At home, at a friend’s house, at a family member’s house. In a house. Not an alley way. Not a street, or behind the bins at a club. Not in a toilet. In a house. At home. According to a 1991 source, 1 in 4 women in the UK have experienced rape or attempted rape. Internationally, 1 in 3 women have experienced a sexual assault, and of those women, over 60% have experienced more than one incident.

And the worst bit? 91% of women surveyed in Painter’s 1991 study had told no one of their experience. Another report, the Statistics Canada 1993 survey (the largest of its kind worldwide), states that only 6% of sexual assaults worldwide are reported to the police. 50% of those involved in this survey did not report their experience, because they did not think anything would be done. Now obviously, these studies only cover a few thousand women, and there are over 3 billion women in the world. However, the findings are fairly consistent across each and every study. An alarming number of women have experienced some form of sexual violence, and an alarmingly high proportion of those experiences go unreported – sometimes not even divulged to close friends or family members.

So next time you see something I’ve posted, and you think I’m over-reacting; next time you see or hear someone slut shaming or victim blaming – think. Try to understand where I and other feminists are coming from when we say that these things are problematic. If you can, why not call those people out on what they’re saying, tell them why what they’re doing is harmful to women’s rights. Show them that not everyone thinks that the length of a woman’s skirt dictates her character or her likelihood of being raped or sexually assaulted.

Statistics and references sourced from Child and Woman Abuse Studies Unit (CWASU)